Tied Down
by CassianSage
Summary: Angsty sort of fic surrounding Jim's past and how he feels about marriage. Sorry that I've been in an angst funk lately!
1. Part I

Title: Tied Down

Author: CassianSage

Fandom: Reboot

Pairing: Kirk/McCoy, as if any other pairing exists.

Rating: PG-13-mentions of violence, some language angst

Disclaimer: Anyone who thinks I own Star Trek is sadly mistaken. There are decidedly more talented people actually in control of the franchise. I simply amuse myself with little things here and there, pretending for a short time that they're mine.

Summary: Jim sighed as the turbolift's doors closed behind him. It had been a long day, a long two weeks in fact. He really did enjoy being a starship captain, the authority, the thrill of adrenaline on an Away Mission; he didn't even mind the paperwork so much. But the bullshit he put of with recently was enough to drive him insane.

Notes: So, this started out as a mushy romantic fic to help settle the crackiness that is my brain sometimes. Then it took a turn for the worst when I started asking "what if?" questions in my head. Big mistake. At least I didn't succumb to the other thoughts swirling around there. If I had, I would've written a fic about Jim and Bones as acrobats at the circus moonlighting as superheroes fighting crimes committed by the clowns. So, it could've been worse. Stupid brain. _\\//

Part I

Jim sighed as the turblift's doors closed behind him. It had been a long day, a long two weeks in fact. He really did enjoy being a starship captain, the authority, the thrill of adrenaline on an Away Mission; he didn't even mind the paperwork so much. But the bullshit he put up with recently was enough to drive him insane.

It had taken two days before the representatives of the warring factions of the planet they were currently orbiting finally agreed to be in the same room with each other. It took another three before they agreed that maybe they didn't remember the exact reason they had been fighting the past ten years. And then there were another two to decide that it would be okay to stop fighting finally and four more days to finalize all the treaties and agreements about what they would do now that their time wouldn't be occupied with thinking up plans for how to best bomb the shit out of each other. Now he just had to live through the damn peace celebration tomorrow and then they could say "So long" to this damn rock.

The only thing still keeping him going at this point was the promise of dinner with Bones. With all his time occupied with trying to be diplomatic, they hadn't seen each other in almost two weeks. Jim laughed to himself at the thought that, if seven years ago someone had told him he'd be in a serious relationship with his best friend, he'd probably have punched them in the face at the insult.

But now, he couldn't understand how he survived all those years without the man who'd become his constant companion. Even two weeks had been a long time to only exchange passing glances in the halls, without being able to be near enough to touch and cling and just _be_. And lying awake at night in a cold empty bed was pure torture when he otherwise could be wrapped around Bones' warm sleeping figure. But the negotiations ended late every night and he only had a few hours of rest before he had to be up again for the next round. He didn't want to wake up Bones, who had enough on his plate and needed rest too. Plus, the crew still didn't know about _them_, and it wouldn't do if he was seen entering the CMO's quarters late at night.

Tonight however, it was just Jim and Bones. And all Jim wanted to do when he finally made it to Bones' quarters was wrap his arms around the man, bury his face in the crook of his warm neck to breathe in that familiar scent, and never let go. It would make captaining a starship difficult, but it would solve every other problem he ever had in an instant.

Jim noticed that his feet had finally managed to carry him to Bones' quarters, the place he most considered home. Now, of course, Jim would consider anyplace Bones was home. He entered using the code Bones gave him, just like he always did.

The lights were turned down low. Most of the light in the room came from the passing of the shimmering stars outside the windows. Bones stood there like he'd been waiting for Jim to walk through the door. A slight smile slid across his face, and Jim felt one pull across his own in response. He looked like he hadn't slept too well the past two weeks either. However, even the shadows he noticed under Bones' eyes despite the dark room couldn't make him look any less handsome.

He had discarded his uniform for a pair of black slacks, just form-fitting enough to accentuate the toned muscle hidden under the fabric. His black button-up shirt lay open at his throat, exposing the pale expanse of skin to the glow of twinkling stars. Jim suddenly felt much underdressed in the same gold uniform he'd worn all day.

Why hadn't he thought to change his clothes before coming? He cursed inwardly at his lack of foresight, but there was nothing he could really do. There were only a few of his possessions in Bones' closet and nothing suitable to look as nice as Bones.

Jim became aware of the awkward silence surrounding them. Bones cleared his throat and finally broke it.

"Jim, you look terrible," he said, but there was a strong undercurrent of warmth in the statement, laced with concern.

"Thanks," he smiled. "Haven't been sleeping well."

"Stupid bastard. You could've gotten a sedative. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I've just missed you. I sleep better with you around." He slowly approached the man in front of him, barely controlling the urge he had just to pounce now that he was so close.

"I haven't been sleeping too well without you either."

Jim reached him at this point and curled his hands around Bones to pull him down for a kiss. Though his body still wanted to pounce, he closed his eyes against the urges and savoured the feeling of Bones' tongue curling slowly, almost tentatively into his mouth. His stomach tightened as the kiss deepened, still slowly, but the fingers squeezing at his shoulder and hip told him that Bones was feeling just as touch starved as he was.

After a few minutes of refamiliarizing themselves with each other's bodies they broke apart. Despite the slow exploration, they were both flushed pink and panting heavily.

"I made dinner," Bones said, motioning to the table carefully set for two. While food sounded pretty good, Jim felt that there were more pressing needs he wished to fulfil first. Like stripping those much-too-tight pants and sexy shirt off of Bones and covering every last inch of his body in wet possessive kisses. He felt the need to say as much to Bones.

"Yeah? Well, I'm hungry for other things right now." Jim raised his eyebrows suggestively and let his hands travel farther down Bones' back to rest on his ass.

Bones rolled his eyes. "There's plenty of time for that later. But you need to eat first."

"But Bones, we haven't seen each other in almost two weeks," he whined in return. "Food can wait. I can't."

Bones snorted. "You can and you will until after we eat, or you won't get any at all tonight."

"Bones, that's not fair!" Jim protested.

"We can act like civilized people for a little while at least. Besides, I made your favourite, pot roast."

Jim groaned into Bones' ear. It was a low blow and they both knew it. Bones knew Jim couldn't resist pot roast, especially when he made it. Jim could captain a starship, kick the shit out of Klingons and Romulans and take a pretty heavy beating himself, but he couldn't cook to save his life. He managed to burn a bowl of cold cereal once and nearly took out the entire kitchen in his dorm with it.

Bones, on the other hand, was a master chef. Jim learned pretty early on in their friendship that Bones' talents extended far beyond medicine, although he was a genius there too. It just so happened, those skilful hands were good at a lot of things. And yes, Jim found out later that some of those things had to do with sex, but he was also just about the greatest cook Jim had ever seen. So it wasn't any wonder that he could never say no to a home-cooked meal from Bones. Jim cursed as his stomach growled audibly.

"That's what I thought. Come on."

Jim let himself be led to the table and served a steaming warm plate of tender meat and potatoes and carrots. He closed his eyes and let the tantalizing smell fill his nostrils. Jim didn't need to travel the galaxy to know that it was the best food out there. And it was even better when he was sitting here like this, sharing it with Bones. His stomach growled again, even louder this time and Bones laughed.

Twenty minutes later Jim felt satisfyingly full. Between the good food and the wine they shared, a comfortable warmth had spread across his body. Bones stood to clear the dishes away. Jim picked up his own plate and joined him at the recycler.

He frowned when he noticed the tense set of Bones' shoulders. It worried him to see Bones like that, especially when he couldn't think of a reason to explain it. If he could, he wanted to help Bones, so he wrapped his arms around Bones' waist and nestled his face into the back of his neck.

"What's the matter Bones?"

"Nothing. Nothing's the matter." But Jim could feel him freeze under his arms, could almost see the waves of tension radiating off of him.

"Then why are you so tense?"

"I'm not." As if to prove it, he began to relax back into Jim.

"You forget that I know you pretty well by now." He pressed a kiss at the base of Bones' neck and smiled when he felt him shiver. Neither of them said anything for a few seconds, before Bones finally conceded.

"Yeah, you're right," Bones sighed. "Come and sit down."

He pushed Jim onto the couch in the living area and took a step back, rubbing his hands together. The look in his eyes was one Jim had never seen before, and it fascinated him and frightened him at the same time. Bones' voice shook just a little when he finally began to speak.

"Jim, I'm not too good at all this romantic stuff and talking about my feelings, but I'm gonna try." He paused, looking as though he was searching for just the right words. Jim's stomach churned nervously as he waited for Bones to continue.

"I love you, more than you'll ever know. You're stubborn and arrogant, but loyal as hell and I wouldn't change you one bit. And I'm nowhere near perfect either, but you've always taken me as I am, even in the beginning when we were just friends and I was just so messed up. You made me feel whole again, when it felt like nothing could ever right my life.

And now, whenever you're not near me, it's like there's a piece of me missing that I can never get back unless you're around. All I want now is to spend the rest of my life with you. I want you, if you'll have me.

So," he exhaled to steady himself then dropped to his knee. "Jim, will you marry me?"

Jim had frozen in his seat as soon as he saw which direction this speech was heading. Nothing could have truly prepared him for this shock, even if they had been together for a long time.

And it certainly wasn't a good shock. They had never talked about marriage and now that it came up, he wanted to flee. He thought that he and Bones would never get to this part in their relationship, that he'd never have to worry about that final commitment. It wasn't that he didn't love Bones or that he didn't want to spend the rest of his life in a monogamous relationship with the man. There was just something frightening about the word "marriage", and it was finally coming back to haunt him.

A sick feeling grew in his stomach and his heart felt as though it was trying to escape his chest as it thudded painfully and loudly. Suddenly he couldn't hear anything over the ringing in his ears. His gaze turned downwards and connected with a small box containing a plain silver band. He curled his sweaty hands into tight fists on his lap, trying to stop the screaming male voice inside his head.

_You worthless bitch!_ The man's face was turning a dangerous shade of purple. A woman stood backed into a corner of the room, arms curled up to protect her face.

_Get over here! And put your goddamn arms down! _The woman slowly let her arms drop and walked towards the man. _You're mine, you hear me? You're lucky I even married you. No one else would be goddamned stupid enough to take you in. _His strong hand flew out and connected with the woman's cheek and she fell painfully to the ground with a cry. He stepped forward towards her figure lying prone on the ground and reared back his foot for a kick.

"Jim. Jim, are you alright?" Bones concerned voice pulled him back to the present. Bones reassuring hands squeezed his wrists lightly.

Jim's nails were digging into his palms so tightly he could feel blood between his fingers. He swallowed around his dry throat and found his voice.

"I—I can't, Bones. I'm sorry." He tugged his wrists from Bones' grasp.

"You can't?" he asked.

"I can't marry you," Jim spat a little too forcefully and jumped to his feet.

"Oh." Pain flitted across Bones' features, but Jim wasn't too focused on that. He had to get out of here. "I'm sorry Jim. I thought you—well…" His voice faded out and Jim never heard the rest of the statement.

"Well, you thought wrong," Jim squeaked out over the lump in his throat. He saw the anger growing on Bones' face, but it didn't matter. Anything to get out of there now.

"Then what was the past two and a half years to you Jim, huh? Just decided to have some fun fucking around with your friend? Or am I even your friend?" He stood and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Of course we're friends." Jim willed himself to just shut his mouth before he said too many hurtful things.

"Really? I have a hard time believing that. And everything else was just a load of shit, wasn't it? Goddammit Jim!"

Jim had seen Bones angrier than this before, but this was scarier because this time the anger was directed at him. He wanted to shut his mouth or just take it all back. Unfortunately, he just couldn't stop himself from saying things that he knew would piss Bones off. It was that damn fight or flight instinct.

"I thought you knew me well Bones. I don't do commitment." God, it was like he wasn't even the one speaking anymore.

"Don't give me that bullshit. This thing between us _is_ a commitment."

"Whatever," Jim scoffed, forcing a bored look to appear on his face.

"Jim, why the hell won't you take this seriously? We've been in a relationship. We _are_ in a relationship. Are you scared Jim? Is that what it is?"

"Not scared of anything."

"We both know that's not true. But if that's not the reason, what is? Why won't you marry me? "

"Because I don't fucking love you!" he shouted before he could stop himself. "You're right. I'm not taking this seriously. This whole relationship has been a load of bullshit. I've never been faithful to you ever. Probably fucked almost everyone on this ship and half the galaxy by now while you were here staying faithful like some sentimental sap. I told you, I don't. Do. Commitments."

Bones finally erupted, although Jim could tell he was holding back the majority of his rage with what few threads were left of his emotions by the tight curls of fists laying stiffly at his sides and the muscles straining in his jaw.

"Out!" he yelled, finger pointed unnecessarily at the door. "Get the fuck out of here."

Jim felt sick at the thought that guilt wasn't the first thing he felt pass through his body. Relief was, followed by the urge to run and escape and finally, a small twinge of guilt.

"With pleasure. I take it we're done."

"Yes Jim, we're done. We're through." They both knew the double meaning referred to both the conversation and the shreds of their relationship. Bones rubbed a hand over his face. "Now, like I said, get the fuck out of my room. And don't come back."

"And like I said, with pleasure." Jim stalked to the door as quickly as he could without running, leaving Bones with his hand still over his face, turned towards the stars flying by.


	2. Part II

Part II

Jim ran all the way to his quarters. He barely made it back to his own bathroom before the vomit rising in his throat overtook him. When the spasms rocking his body ceased, he stayed there, seated on the floor with his knees pressed against his chest until his back started to ache from the position.

God, what had he just done? He finally did it. He ruined the two of the three things in his life that made him truly happy: his relationship with Bones and his friendship with Bones, leaving him only with the Enterprise and her crew. Stupid stupid fool. He wanted to smack himself upside the head and then turn around and go straight back to Bones' quarters to apologize. But Jim knew he couldn't.

Bones made it pretty clear that they were done, once and for all, that he didn't want Jim anymore. Something in the back of his mind had always told him that eventually Bones would leave too, but the other part of him hated being right and despised the fact that he was the one who caused the abandonment, even if he wasn't surprised at it.

Eventually Jim picked himself up off the floor and made dressed for bed. He did still have to attend that damn feast celebration thing in the morning. He shivered as he climbed into bed, realizing that that uncomfortable coldness coming from the other half was going to be a more permanent thing now that they were…over. He curled up directly in the centre of the much-too-large bed and to try to fill the emptiness and get some sleep.

Sleep, however, was apparently still not on the menu. The entire night, or what was left of it, was spent tossing and turning. Every time he closed his eyes, he was haunted by the hurt look on Bones' face when he refused him. And when he finally managed to fall asleep, the nightmares of his childhood came back. Eventually he gave up and got out of bed again and sat at his desk. He would find a way to fix this if he could. It would just take a good strategy and careful planning.

So, he stayed up the rest of the night thinking harder than he had ever done in his entire life. Throw him a problem about quantum physics and he'd shoot it back at you in two minutes, tops. But ask him how to fix a relationship, and he was lost. In the end, he came up with absolutely nothing to solve the problem. He drew his first Jim Kirk blank and seriously started believing in no-win scenarios.

********************

Jim wasn't surprised when he didn't see or hear from Bones at all the next morning. The avoidance was expected, but it didn't make it any easier. He made his way slowly to the transporter room, and also wasn't surprised to find Spock already there waiting for him. They were the only two who would beam down to the planet. The natives were still a little wary of many things and they were the two most trusted among both factions.

Spock looked up at Jim's entrance. He took in the bags under his captain's eyes and asked in the most concerned voice a Vulcan possesses, "Captain, are you well?"

"Yeah. Just a little tired." Jim stifled a yawn with his hand, missing the little quirk of Spock's eyebrow that said he didn't believe him.

"If you are having trouble sleeping, perhaps you should talk to Doctor McCoy. I'm sure that he would be interested in locating the cause of –"

"No, no, Spock. That won't be necessary. Just tired from all the negotiations. I'll be glad when this celebration is over and we can leave."

Spock looked as though he wanted to say something more, but he either changed his mind, or knew that Jim wouldn't listen to whatever he had to say. Jim and Spock stepped up to the transporter pad together, side by side.

Jim sighed. "All right. Let's get this thing over with. Energize."

Then he felt the familiar warmth of the transporter's energy surrounding him and closed his eyes, embracing the knowledge that his atoms were spiralling down toward the planet faster than anyone could see. In a few short seconds, he felt solid earth reappear beneath his feet and opened his eyes to the alien countryside surrounding him surrounded by hundreds of smiling beings (if that creepy look plastered on everyone's faces could be considered a smile) greeting them.

In the end, the celebration was a disaster. Firstly, it wasn't a celebration. It was a massacre, literally. It seemed that both parties had only agreed to the damn occasion to catch the other side with their guard down. It was all just a stupid military tactic to take out the opposing side. Just as both leaders stood to shake hands in a gesture of friendship, a particularly nasty looking creature shoved his way through the crowd aimed a rather large blaster directly at the leader on the left and fired one single shot directly through the alien's skull.

Secondly, Spock and Jim were caught up in the fire fight that broke out on both sides a mere two seconds after the first shots were fired. And them without so much as a weapon to defend themselves. They both immediately ran to take shelter behind one of the various giant shrubs the planet seemed to be over abundant in.

And thirdly, before Jim and Spock made it to the nearest cover, Jim felt a painful stinging blast tear through his chest. His uniform was immediately soaked in an alarming amount of wetness and he brought a hand up feel the hole there.

Oh damn, he thought as he collapsed to the ground. Spock turned and noticed his fallen comrade and rushed to his side, already reaching for his communicator. This meant that he was going to end up in sickbay. With Bones. Who hated him. Great.

"This week keeps getting better and better," he mumbled up at Spock, grinning like a lunatic despite himself before his eyes slid shut and the noise around him faded to nothing.

When Jim awoke, the first thing he noticed was that his chest felt like it was on fire. The second was that the lights of sickbay (damn it) were down low, which meant that it must be gamma shift. The third was that he was most assuredly and irrevocably alone, which only made his chest ache more. Normally when he came back injured, he awoke to Bones at his side, holding his hand and waiting for him to wake up so he could scold him for being a reckless bastard. Not this time. It seemed that Jim really did screw up big time.

He sighed and decided that it was time to be an adult about this whole thing and just come out with the truth to Bones. Of course, this would be difficult with Bones still avoiding him, but where there was a will, there was a way. He was probably in his quarters right now. And all Jim had to do was go there and make him listen.

Jim forced himself into a sitting position, ignoring the protest of pain pulsing loudly through his body. As swiftly as he could manage still partially drugged, he detangled himself from the wires and tubes keeping him in one place. Jim felt grateful that he wasn't wearing an open gown, but a simple pair of pants and shirt. It meant that he didn't have to snoop around for clothing and could just leave.

He gingerly swung his legs around the side of the bed and touched his bare feet to the floor. It took all the strength he had to push himself completely erect and he regretted it the instant he did. His muscles felt like they hadn't been used in days. They shook underneath him, and he wasn't sure how long they would support his weight. He got his answer after two shaky steps towards the exit when his knees gave out and he crashed loudly into a scary looking tray of hyposprays.

Almost immediately he felt an a firm hand around his arm dragging him back upright and he turned his face to peer into the scowling look spread across the face of the man looking down on him.

"Damn it, Jim. What were you trying to do? You're going to reinjure yourself."

"Needed to see you," were the words Jim managed to get past his lips in his shock at Bones leading him slowly back to bed.

"I was just in my office getting some coffee. You could have called me by pushing that little red button on the side of the bed." His words had all the usual bit of exasperated scolding Bones, none of the scariness from the other night.

"You were? I thought you left." Jim winced as Bones lowered him back down to the bed carefully, pulling his legs back under the sheets and pulling the blankets up.

"Of course I was. Where the hell else would I be with you lying here in a coma?"

"A coma?" Jim asked stupidly.

"Yes, you idiot. A coma. Only you would be shot at a peaceful celebration."

"It's not my fault. How was I supposed to know it was a trap?" He paused, grinning at the almost-normal playful banter they were exchanging. The smile faded at his next words. "I thought you wouldn't be here, after, you know."

Bones closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. "Jim, no matter what else happens, I am still Chief Medical Officer on board this ship, which means the captain's health is one of my main priorities. And, I'm still your friend."

"You are?"

Bones sighed. "Yes Jim, we are still friends, which means when you scare the bejesus out of me like that, I'm not going anywhere until you pull through."

"Bones, we need to talk." He opened his eyes at Jim's words and dropped his hand.

"There's nothing to talk about. We can just put it all behind us and go back to being just friends."

"Bones, you don't understand. I don't want to go back to being just friends. Not when I know there's something more out there for us."

"Like fuck buddies?" Bones replied crossly.

"No. Just listen, will you?" he snapped finally. Bones closed his mouth abruptly and stared back at his friend for a second. When he discerned that Jim meant business, he pulled up a chair to the bed and sat down, gesturing Jim to continued.

Jim took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Bones. I didn't mean any of the things I said to you and I didn't want to hurt you, but my brain is a little fucked up and was telling me to get the hell out of there. Truth is, I love you too." Bones' face remained expressionless so he continued.

"I know I've said it before but this time I really need you to understand that I mean it." Bones' face still betrayed no emotion. Really, that was just annoying.

"And I never cheated on you," he blurted out. "Never even wanted to since the first time we kissed."

Bones eyebrow raised just a fraction as he finally interjected. "Then why'd you say it?"

"It just sort of came out of my mouth before I could stop myself. It was like it wasn't even me talking." Bones' expression seemed to soften at his words, a sign that, for whatever reason, he believed Jim. Maybe these were the words he had been waiting and longing for Jim to say to him since that horrible night together.

"I was just—afraid, like you said."

Bones uncrossed his arms and pressed his hands into his lap. "We don't have to get married. If you're not ready, we can slow things down a bit."

"You believe me?"

"Of course. Part of a relationship is trust."

"I'm glad," Jim sighed softly. "But I don't want to slow down. I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I _want_ to marry you. But I need you to understand why I said no."

Bones merely nodded, indicating he was ready for whatever Jim was about to tell him. Jim's heart was pounding now at the secrets he was about to spill for the first time in his life. But this was Bones. He could be vulnerable with Bones. He trusted Bones completely.

"After I was born, mom didn't do too well." _After my dad died._ They both heard the words left unspoken.

"She was always trying to fill the emptiness in her life. Before I finally left home, she was married four times. And she had this way of picking men who were…not too nice. Two of them were drunks, one was a drug addict, one a thief and all of them were abusive. I think maybe she thought she didn't deserve anything better."

Jim stopped for a second to take several calming breaths. His chest hurt, and this time it had nothing to do with the wound bandaged tightly under his shirt. We willed himself to continue. He needed Bones to hear this.

"They beat her. Sometimes so hard that she'd pass out from the pain and then they'd still beat her until they had enough. They beat us too, Sam and me. But she never stopped them. Never even admitted there was a problem. She'd just go off on her missions, sometimes for months, and leave us with those bastards." A part of him wanted to stop talking now, but he couldn't. It was like a dam had burst and he was trying to catch the floodwaters with his fingers. He also couldn't bring himself to look at Bones' face and gauge his reaction.

"We dealt with them the best we could. We got the drug addict arrested for possession and the thief took off on his own as soon as he got what he wanted. But the first and last were the worst. The first because I was too young to do anything except watch him hit her and take my own when it was my turn. The last, because I was on my own. Sam left home one day and never came back and mom's missions were long by that point. Six months at a time." Jim's voice had grown softer. He was almost whispering.

"That was Frank." Bones knew little of Frank, just that Jim hated the man more than anyone else in the entire galaxy, even more than Nero for leaving him fatherless.

"One day after mom arrived back planetside after a long mission, he really went at it. He smashed her face in calling her things I'd never call another person, even at my worst. I tried to stop him, to pull him away from her, but then he beat me even harder than he beat her until he passed out on the floor.

I was sitting in my room when my mom came in. She said that she couldn't really blame him for doing that to her, that she really deserved it. That we both did. And then I was so sorry for all the years of taking beatings for her as she went on and on about love and how mysterious it was sometimes. And I just wanted to scream at her.

When she left, I told myself I'd never put myself in that position. I'd never make the same mistake she did and tie myself down like that. I left home a few days later and I haven't talked to either of them since." He finally turned his head and stared into Bones' hazel eyes, noticing the pain behind them as well.

"Jim," Bones began, raising a thumb to rub away the wetness on his cheek. Jim took the hand in his own and held it to his cheek possessively.

"Jim, I'm sorry." He managed this time, standing up. For one terrifying moment, Jim thought Bones was getting up to leave. He needn't have worried. The next thing he knew, after taking a brief survey of sickbay, Bones nudged Jim over and climbed into bed with him fully clothed, boots and all.

Jim immediately pressed himself as close to Bones as he could. It wasn't a difficult feat. They actually fit better on the bed that way. His head immediately found itself resting on Bones' chest, his legs twining themselves automatically in Bones'. Bones leaned down pressed a kiss to the top of Jim's head, his hand rubbing his back just the way he knew made Jim feel safe.

"It's okay Jim," he whispered. "You can trust me. I'm not going to hurt you. I would never do that to you."

"I know, I know. I trust you," he replied and buried his face deeper into Bones' shirt. They were silent for a few minutes.

"You really haven't talked to your mom since then?" Bones asked quietly.

Jim was surprised that he wasn't annoyed by the question, and didn't mind talking about it. Probably the presence of Bones. "No. I've wanted to, sort of. But now, I just don't know what to say to her. She probably thinks I'm a screw-up."

"Jim, you know that's not true. Everyone knows what you did for Earth. I'm sure she's proud of you. And she probably misses you. You don't have to call her if you don't want to. Just think about it, okay?"

Jim nodded into the Bones' chest and felt those strong arms hug him tighter in response. He finally felt a good night's sleep coming, now that everything seemed to be back on the right path. He was exactly where he should be, in Bones' arms. He was home.

********************

Two days later Jim found himself sitting at his desk waiting for his video call to go through. He took a breath, bracing himself for what he was about to do. Finally, the connection flickered to life. A tired-looking, but nonetheless beautiful blonde woman appeared on the screen.

After a brief second of silence, a mixture of happiness and surprise spread across her face. "Jim?" she asked tentatively. "Oh Jim," she said again, tears streaming down her cheeks in seconds.

"Mom!" Jim smiled at her, "I'm getting married."

END

Note: Sorry I couldn't fit any smut into this. It just felt wrong somehow, so I didn't force the issue. Hope that's okay. Sorry.


End file.
